Cora, who has been married for 12 years, asks why she still has feelings for her closest male friend even though they haven’t seen each other in a long time
Rappler’s Life and Style section runs an advice column by couple Jeremy Baer and clinical psychologist Dr Margarita Holmes.
Jeremy has a master’s degree in law from Oxford University. A banker of 37 years who worked in 3 continents, he has been training with Dr Holmes for the last 10 years as co-lecturer and, occasionally, as co-therapist, especially with clients whose financial concerns intrude into their daily lives.
Dear Dr Holmes and Mr Baer,
I am 35, married, with 2 kids. My 16-year relationship with my husband (4 years of dating, 12 years married) is way better than how it was when he regretted cheating on me 10 years ago. He made sure to make up for it and I feel more loved more than ever.
Before meeting him, I had a very close male friend whom I fell for in 3rd year high school. I am this male friend’s confidant. He trusted me with his secrets, his pains, his dreams… and even constantly updated me on his trysts with different girls. At some point, we spoke about dating each other. We flirted, we dated, we made out (no sex though)… but I thought our friendship was so special and becoming lovers would ruin it. But I love him, and I think he knows it. He never fails to make me feel special. He would show up at my doorstep whenever I needed someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, even after we haven’t seen each other and haven’t been in touch for so long. Surprisingly, he could feel whenever I needed someone, and…