Jay’s Jokes: Why Russia shouldn’t try to interfere with any more sporting events

Alexander Zemlianichenko, Associated Press

People walk at the building of the Russian Olympic Committee is seen through a gate decorated with the Olympic rings in Moscow, Russia, Wednesday, Dec. 6, 2017. The International Olympic Committee has barred the Russian team from competing in Pyeongchang in February over widespread doping at the last edition of the Winter Games in 2014.

A lighthearted look at news of the day:

President Donald Trump came to town last week. He was seen grabbing a shopping cart at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints’ Welfare Square and filling it with groceries. He looked out of place, like he was in a produce wilderness. A few more minutes there and he might have declared it a monument.

Trump obviously doesn’t do a lot of grocery shopping on his own. He had that look on his face like he knew he had forgotten to bring his debit card.

The International Olympic Committee has banned Russia from the 2018 Winter Olympics. The IOC also warned Vladimir Putin that if he tries to interfere with any more sporting events, he will be banned from future U.S. elections, as well.

Russian athletes may still compete in the Olympics, but they would have to do so as neutral athletes, with no national affiliation. If they win gold, the medal ceremony should play “Louie, Louie,” about as close to a neutral, incomprehensible anthem as the human race can offer.

How corrupt do you have to be to have the IOC decide you’re too corrupt to compete? This is the same IOC currently involved in a bidding scandal involving some of its members and the Rio Games. Getting banned by them is kind of like being considered…

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