YESSSSS. We’re back in the weird narrow restaurant ready to find love, and we can feel it, you guys. We have hope. We have faith. We have…
Dee and Taite
We have an uncomplicated fit couple on an uncomplicated date.
There’s Dee, who can’t wait to tell anyone who’ll listen that she has a nice bum, likes muscles and does that thing where her tongue can’t find her straw when she sees Taite.
And then there’s Taite, who likes nice bums and goes to the gym seventeen days a week.
Dee and Taite have the kind of date you’d expect. They talk about working out, they talk about exercising, they show each other their bodies, and every now and then they throw in an anecdote about going to the gym, just for variety.
“Do you squat?” asks Taite, which is something you should never ask a lady in any other context.
“HELL YEAH, I SQUAT” responds Dee, almost offended.
Basically Dee and Taite spend the bulk of the date consensually objectifying each other, with an unsurprising finish of mutual attraction.
James and Rebecca
We have last week’s overly-confident man-child James, back for a second crack in a second plastic tie.
“I’ve got a reservation under ‘love’, do you know where I can find it?” he says to the maitre ‘d.
James is determined not to be as cocky or ‘challenging’ as he was last week.
James’s date Rebecca tells us that she’s in the habit of falling for the wrong guys, often on the first date.
Rebecca is adorably sweet, and could probably teach James a lot about dignified humility, although at this point we’re concerned about her naivete in the face of such a veneered wall of worldliness. To his credit though, James is making a visible superhuman effort to rein in his cockiness. A few clicks, winks, and finger pistols sneak through, but on the whole he’s a changed man.
The weird thing is, though: IT’S WORKING. Who knew not being a wanker was actually attractive?
During Awkward Question Time, James immediately tells Rebecca he’d like…