Another week, another disappointing reflection on D.C. United and their inability to do anything consistent or remotely not terrible. At this point I’m really running out of things to say, guys.
This week, though, we at least have a new opponent to face. Step on up, Minnesota United FC, with your lame name and awesome crest and similarly bad season. It’s an East vs. West Battle of the Best of the worst.
Donald Wine II
How far can the Black-and-Red fall? I’m not quite sure we’ve reached rock bottom even though it feels like we’ve fallen lower than that. Luckily, they travel to Minnesota where the Loons have not been playing well lately either. Call me crazy, I’m going to go positive on this one. We are undefeated against teams that have taken our name for their use (well, team). That streak will continue on Saturday. Ian Harkes provides the only goal and Bill Hamid, back from international duty, does Bill Hamid things to escape with a win, 1-0.
I still don’t have the words to talk about United after last week. Appropriately, I don’t think this game has any goals. Scoreless draw, and no fewer than 13 individuals throwing themselves into one of Minnesota’s famous lakes in search of a reprieve.
United has figured out how to score goals, which means there will be two teams capable of putting the ball in the back of the net and zero teams able to defend coherently. As such, I expect a bumbling sort of high-paced game. Minnesota will edge out in front via Kevin Molino, but Luciano Acosta will respond quickly, and both Bill Hamid and Bobby Shuttleworth will produce some big saves before halftime. It’ll be more of the same in the second half, with Patrick Nyarko giving United a lead only for Christian Ramirez to haul the Loons back level. 2-2, and it’s worth noting that at full time there will be barely over 11 days left in the transfer window.
This is tough. Even though there is absolutely no reason whatsoever to…