WHAT’S WRONG WITH DADDY? | JASE GRAVES
For my 47th birthday this year, my wife proposed that we get tickets for the 2017 U2 “Joshua Tree” concert in Arlington, Texas. Apparently, Bono needed to purchase another Irish castle for his total real estate holdings to qualify as a new continent, so he and his band decided to embark on a multi-city tour on which they would play every track from their 1987 hit album. I actually thought this was a really sweet gesture on the part of my wife, although I suspect she was trying to pre-empt my suggesting that at our age, we should just celebrate with a 4:00 p.m. supper at Luby’s cafeteria–followed by a nap. She also may have done it out of pity, considering that instead of aging into the rugged appearance of a Robert Redford or Clint Eastwood, the older I get, the more I look like Angela Lansbury–only more matronly.
On our drive to Arlington, I passed the time by engaging in a Facebook argument with a friend about whether U2 or Fleetwood Mac is the better band (because everyone knows that Facebook is the ideal forum for conflict resolution). He remarked that all U2 songs are the same with their “twanga, twanga, twanga, twanga” riffs (those are technical musical terms) and Bono’s refusal to take off his dilation sunglasses. I replied that Stevie Nicks sings like she has a mouthful of landscaping mulch.
Our intellectual debate ended when my wife and I entered the cavernous AT&T Stadium and immediately joined one of several massive lines for our obligatory concert t-shirts, which haven’t changed much since my high school days with their paper-thin fabric that inevitably transforms into a sausage casing after the first wash. Thank goodness they were only $40 each!
After about twenty minutes of waiting, we had almost reached the register when the rather surly sales…